i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
