from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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