Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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