ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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