It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
