Your tits are I can't wait for
he thought i was a dude.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
