Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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