I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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