i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
