Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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