Where is the hickey?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
