The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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