did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
