I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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