How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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