Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
