you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
