You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
