I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Semen is not good for contacts.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
