I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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