Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
