I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
