Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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