So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
