lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
