everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
