two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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