I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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