you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
