Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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