Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
