her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
