Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
