remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
