My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
