If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize