I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
