Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
