so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
