I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
