Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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