Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am naked and annoyed.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
