I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
