what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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