I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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