didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
