well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
