you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
