I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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