38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize