A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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